Ok, some light housekeeping first! I’m a big loser nerd and have way too many webpages. For my photo goodness, other than Puki stories, please check out my LiveJournal. Every so often, I’m going to put up fifteen random shots that I’ve taken of animals, people, or the outdoors. So if you like photography, and want to make fun of my lameness, feel free.

Hey, anyone play GaiaOnline? Cause… um.. I totally don’t.  That’s for like… babies… *cough*

Anyway, on with the show! No picture today, but just image Bill Murray looking all downtrodden. The other night I finally got around to watching Broken Flowers, which I was excited for. The plot sounded entertaining, and Bill Murray is awesome. How could this go wrong?

…Oh Indie Flicks… why do I trust you?

So here’s the plot breakdown: Bill Murray plays Don, who is a womanizer of sorts. He gets a message from a mystery woman telling him that her son has run off to find him because SURPRISE! She got knocked up and never told him after they broke up. So, spurred on by his mystery loving neighbour, Don goes off on a cross-country trip to meet the four possible babymommas and find out what’s going on.

This movie should really be called “Watch Bill Murray drive around while wearing sunglasses and looking pensive”, because that is ninety percent of the shots. No, I’m not being dramatic here, that is seriously over half the movie. This is the plot structure:

A) Get on plane. We see a shot of plane taking off

B) Get in car. We see shots of Bill driving, of the rearview mirrors, of the side mirrors, of the road, of the scenery, of map quest print outs, of road, of bill driving.

C) Meet women. Hang around for ten minutes.

D) Get back in car. We see shots of Bill driving, of the rearview mirrors, of the side mirrors, of the road, of the scenery, of map quest print outs, of road, of bill driving- But THIS time, it’s AWAY, so it’s DIFFERENT!

B) Get on plane. We see a shot of plane taking off.

REPEAT THREE MORE TIMES!

Oh GAWD. I felt like I was experiencing the trip in real time. That’s not generally a good thing. Also, do you like Ethiopian Jazz? then this is the movie for you, as most of the entire soundtrack is made up of it. Well, one song of it. Ok, maybe two. But they play over and over, and you will hate them. I know I did by the end.

Anyway, the letter he receives is on pink paper in a pink envelope. So how to find the right women? Look for typewriters and things that are pink! No, really. This is what the director/writer goes with. I think he also works with Scotland Yard in his spare time. Anyway, let’s take a look at these potentional mothers.

Mother One: Laura. She actually made me excited for the movie, because she and her daughter make for the best part. Too bad they are the FIRST women we see, leaving the others to try and live up to them. The entire time I watched this movie, I kept hoping Don would just go back to them and live his life there. Anyway, Laura is a professional closet organizer who had a husband who died in a NASCAR race (Really!) and her daughter is named Lolita (I KNOW!). Lolita wears skimpy outfits, offers Don popsicles, and then comes out totally naked. TOTALLY. Full Frontal? Woo!

After a delightful dinner scene (and a little bomp-chicka), we see Don leave them and go back to travelling…. vomit. Oh, and there was pretty much NO evidence for Laura having had the son. In case you cared. well, other than a basketball hoop. Because girls never use them.

Woman Two: Dora.  This section is just creepy. Dora is a skittish housewife who sells prefab homes with her hubby. Hubby likes to pat her head, kiss her head, and call him “His Little Dora”, etc. Um… ok then, you freak. Obviously, Dora is trapped in a crappy marriage, and Oh by the way her business cards are pink, and there is some back and forth about how he wanted kids with her, but she couldn’t mother his kids, like that means they had an extra kid that wasn’t theirs and stop trying so hard movie, nobody thinks it’s them.

Woman three: I forget her name. It starts with a C. This film really left an impression on me, didn’t it? Anyway, she’s an animal communicator who has on pink pants! She gives Don the cold shoulder, and is totally a lesbian now, by the way. Yawn. They have some “tense” dialogue that is supposed to be witty, I think. “Are you married?” “I don’t know, why does it matter” “I guess it doesn’t” “No.” “No, it doesn’t  matter” “No, I’m not married” I am so asleep. Oh, and there is a basketball hope. Because lesbians never use them.

Wake up for the last women, the crazy one! Now, by process of elimination, I figured this was the knocked-up one. I mean, nobody else really fit. The last woman is dark haired and loud, lives in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of tough guys who fix bikes. OMG! There’s a pink typewriter in the grass! And a basketball hoop! The most convincing evidence yet! Except this one goes ballistic on him, and has him beat up and ditched in a field. So I somehow don’t think she wrote the almost poetic letter about a lost child.

So he goes back home and- Oh wait, he also visits the grave of a dead girlfriend and tears-up. It’s actually very nice and moving, it’s jut sadly thrown in as kind of an afterthought.  “Ooo, and one of the girlfriends will be DEAD!” I actually wanted it to be her, with the letter getting lost and then mailed years later, but that would have been interesting, so it has no place here.

He gets back home, and meets a young man at the airport who is old enough to be the possible son. He then sees him again in the street and buys him lunch. Then he freaks him out  by implying the father thing, and off he runs. As Don chases him, we see another male leaning out of a cab and staring at Don, sizing him up. Was that the son? If he is, what about the other guy? But the movie answers nothing of these questions, as this is where it ends. Was the journey worth it? Who was the mother? WAS there a mother? It’s implied near the end that it was really an ex of Dons that could have set the whole thing up, so what was the fucking point?

In the movie in my head, Don goes back to Laura and Lolita and lives happily ever after. It’s so much more satisfying.